I love being at home with the bear cub. I am extremely lucky that I am able to do this, and I would say that overall I am the happiest that I've ever been. I wanted to write this as a record of this phase of our life, I am definitely not telling anyone else that they should be living their life this way! This is what currently works for us:
1: We leave the house every single day. Some days (like today) that means our only outing is the walk to the coffee shop. Ok let's be real, we go to the coffee shop every single day! Just sometimes it's before or after another activity.
Twice a week we have planned activities - a swimming lesson and a tiny tots class (music/exercise/free play). Other mornings we might take a trip to the playground, lurk around a shopping centre (not very fulfilling for either of us) or catch up with friends (this actually rarely happens midweek these days).
2: I try to think about our day in terms of trying to allow for opportunities to both breathe in and out. I heard this phrase when I became curious about Waldorf Steiner philosophy. I'm not that interested the Steiner system as a whole, but I love the aesthetics and the symbolism. This is my take on it the idea of kids needing to inhale and exhale. Kids need to inhale fully (ie have your full attention for periods of time) before they can exhale (play independently). Giving them half your attention all of the time does not have the same effect.
I have also seen this described as "filling up their attention bucket". I find that some days the bucket can be filled easily, whereas other days there must be a hole in the bottom because it runs near empty all day. Accepting that this can be the case is very important.
3: I allow myself to be selfish. I have 2 main things that I look forward to every day that both could be considered selfish. I look forward to going for a run and buying a coffee every day. I run with the pram 3-4 days a week (plus a couple solo runs). Thankfully, Bear doesn't seem to mind being in the pram for extended periods of time, but I also know that it's selfish of me to expect him to tolerate it. Running is something that I love and that is important to me, so on balance I think it makes for a happier household! And buying a coffee is definitely a luxury, but it can be a highlight of my day!
4: I don't stress too much about the housework. I'm the first to admit that I'm very lazy when it comes to housework. I would much rather play with Ted and read him one more book than to have a spotless house! As time goes on I'm fitting in more housework (during those exhale periods that I described above). I am definitely guilty of using those moments to mindlessly browse on the Internet though!
5: I don't tell him "no" very often. When Bear was younger we used a playpen as a yes space, which then expanded into a playpen that was the size of half our back deck. Once he started walking he wasn't happy being confined, but now our entire backyard is pretty much a yes space for him! Some days he will spend hours out there wandering around. There's nothing out there that he can destroy easily.
Our life is pretty simple, and predictable. I like it like this!
1: We leave the house every single day. Some days (like today) that means our only outing is the walk to the coffee shop. Ok let's be real, we go to the coffee shop every single day! Just sometimes it's before or after another activity.
Twice a week we have planned activities - a swimming lesson and a tiny tots class (music/exercise/free play). Other mornings we might take a trip to the playground, lurk around a shopping centre (not very fulfilling for either of us) or catch up with friends (this actually rarely happens midweek these days).
2: I try to think about our day in terms of trying to allow for opportunities to both breathe in and out. I heard this phrase when I became curious about Waldorf Steiner philosophy. I'm not that interested the Steiner system as a whole, but I love the aesthetics and the symbolism. This is my take on it the idea of kids needing to inhale and exhale. Kids need to inhale fully (ie have your full attention for periods of time) before they can exhale (play independently). Giving them half your attention all of the time does not have the same effect.
I have also seen this described as "filling up their attention bucket". I find that some days the bucket can be filled easily, whereas other days there must be a hole in the bottom because it runs near empty all day. Accepting that this can be the case is very important.
3: I allow myself to be selfish. I have 2 main things that I look forward to every day that both could be considered selfish. I look forward to going for a run and buying a coffee every day. I run with the pram 3-4 days a week (plus a couple solo runs). Thankfully, Bear doesn't seem to mind being in the pram for extended periods of time, but I also know that it's selfish of me to expect him to tolerate it. Running is something that I love and that is important to me, so on balance I think it makes for a happier household! And buying a coffee is definitely a luxury, but it can be a highlight of my day!
4: I don't stress too much about the housework. I'm the first to admit that I'm very lazy when it comes to housework. I would much rather play with Ted and read him one more book than to have a spotless house! As time goes on I'm fitting in more housework (during those exhale periods that I described above). I am definitely guilty of using those moments to mindlessly browse on the Internet though!
5: I don't tell him "no" very often. When Bear was younger we used a playpen as a yes space, which then expanded into a playpen that was the size of half our back deck. Once he started walking he wasn't happy being confined, but now our entire backyard is pretty much a yes space for him! Some days he will spend hours out there wandering around. There's nothing out there that he can destroy easily.
Our life is pretty simple, and predictable. I like it like this!